Remembering My Friend Lou Donaldson
“We both love Charlie Parker, so I think we should be friends!”
That was how I introduced myself to Lou Donaldson in 2003. I had just moved to NYC to go to college; at 17 years old I had already been working as a Jazz musician in Oklahoma for 5 years, so even though I was new on the scene in NYC, I felt in my heart that I was already a member of the Jazz community.
I had gone to see Lou at the Village Vanguard that night and I introduced myself to him after his gig. He was packing up his horn in the kitchen, and he looked up at me and said, “What do you know about Charlie Parker?” That day I had been transcribing one of Bird’s solos so I started singing it to him, and after I sang a little bit Lou said to me… “Well, alright. Sit down.” So I sat down next to him and asked him to tell me a story about Charlie Parker, and he did.
Over the next 21 years Lou became one of my closest friends. He helped me with my music, my career, my relationships, with everything. We never stopped talking about Charlie Parker, but as time passed it became apparent that our love of the music was not the only thing we had in common. We had similar ideas about life, similar values, similar ideas about most things. Even though we were 60 years apart in age I don’t think either of us ever thought that much about it. In fact, about 10 years ago we were driving in his car around midtown and he said, “oh remember such and such used to be on that corner?” And I said, “No. When was this?” And he replied, “Oh, 1963?” And I said, “Lou, I was born in 1985.” He looked at me and opened his eyes REALLY BIG and then he just started laughing so hard and said, “I forgot!!”
Lou missed NYC so much after he moved permanently to Florida in 2020. That is the real reason we started organizing the birthday parties at Dizzy’s. I really wanted him to be able to come to NYC and see his friends and talk some shit with other musicians. I think he really enjoyed them, even though they were also bittersweet because they were such short trips for him. This year, when he told me he couldn’t come, I told him I didn’t want to host the party without him. In our industry, so many of our heroes only get big parties and big celebrations after they’ve passed, and I wanted him to be loved and celebrated while he was alive, present and could enjoy it. I wanted the party to be *for* him, and if he wasn’t there, I wasn’t sure I would feel right about it. He understood me, and he asked me to throw the party anyway. I’m so glad we did and I’m glad we were able to get him on the phone so he could hear us all sing “Happy Birthday” to him and we could hear his voice too. That was a great moment.
Lou dedicated his life to pursuing excellence in our music and he succeeded; he was a master on his instrument and a true Jazz legend. I feel very lucky that I was able to have such an exceptional man as my friend. When Lou passed away Sonny Rollins told me, “Knowing Lou Donaldson was a blessing.” My sentiments exactly.